Chapter 7: The Sales Leader – Chen Yun

“Why would I lie to you? I’m just bored and looking for a bit of fun.”
“All right, I don’t believe you. Let’s see if you can really turn selling belts into a spectacle.” The young man handed Chen Yun a package of belts and stepped aside to watch.

Standing before the supermarket entrance, Chen Yun pulled out a belt, gave it a strong tug—it was sturdier than expected. He clapped his hands together, the sharp sound drawing most of the crowd’s attention his way. Chen Yun called out loudly:

“Ladies and gentlemen, travelers from north and south, esteemed elders and neighbors, please raise your eyes and take a look at this belt in my hand.” Beating a rhythm with his hands, Chen Yun launched into a lively pitch, a stream of witty lines no one had ever heard before, instantly piquing the curiosity of the people passing by.

“Let me show you right here how to use it. Watch carefully, so you don’t go home confused. Pull it back, press gently—simple and easy, success will follow! Secure? See for yourselves! Good or not? Let your own eyes decide!” The more Chen Yun spoke, the smoother his words flowed, and when he saw that many in the crowd were tempted, he stoked the fire further.

“Twenty copper coins isn’t expensive—it’s no luxury. If you think twenty copper coins is too much, then it means the world is going backwards. This little money is well spent; you’ll want to take a good product home. If you’re too timid to spend even this, how can you ever be an entrepreneur?”

Seeing even more people gathering, Chen Yun raised his voice: “Fortune or failure—it’s all about the belt! Will you have a future generation? That depends on whether you buy my belt. Buy my belt, and ensure your family line continues! I want to see which of you here wants to pass on your name!”

Damn! That last line was ruthless—no one could refuse now. With so many watching and listening, not buying would make you seem abnormal. Even if it’s a fake, I’ll take it!

“I’ll take one!”

“Give me one as well.”

“My wife and I just got married—of course we have to ensure our family line. We’ll take two!”

“Well said, young man! I’ll take four!”

Watching the mob scramble to buy belts, the young man was stupefied. Could business really be done like this? You actually managed to make belts a sensation!

In less than three minutes, all one hundred belts in Chen Yun’s hands were snatched up, with more than a dozen people still empty-handed.

“All gone? No way! How can they be gone? I need to carry on my family line!”

“Damn, being far back is useless. Young man, are you really out? I’ll pay extra!”

“Hey, friend, sell me that belt in your hand—one hundred copper coins, how about it? If I don’t bring one home, my wife will kill me.”

Watching these customers desperate to pay extra, the young man was nearly in tears. What was this feeling? I could sell belts for a week and you sold out in less than five minutes, and it still wasn’t enough. Just where did this monster come from?

“Not bad, not bad. At last, I have money for daily necessities.” Chen Yun beamed as he split the pile of copper coins in two, saying to the young man, “Uncle, here’s your thousand copper coins.”

The young man looked at the coins, nearly in tears. A hundred belts, and after costs, he’d made less than two hundred coins. Then, looking at Chen Yun who had made a killing with nothing but wit, he had only one thought: “This city is too cunning. I want to go back to the countryside.”

Seeing this, the massager vendor next door hurried over. “Brother, you’re a real talent. How about working with me? Help me sell too—I’ll split it seventy-thirty, I take seven, you take three, how’s that?”

Chen Yun looked at him as if he were a fool. “Uncle, are you still half asleep? I just split fifty-fifty on the belts. Why would I take thirty percent with you? No, that’s losing money.”

The middle-aged man blinked, thinking, losing money? What costs do you even have? I provide the goods, you just run your mouth, seventy-thirty is generous.

“My massager is much more valuable than those belts—it’s 198 each. Seventy-thirty is quite fair. You’d make sixty per sale,” the man argued.

“Uncle, that’s reasonable, but you can’t see it that way. Sure, your massager is valuable, but what’s the use if you can’t sell it? I’ll say this once: sixty-forty. If you agree, I’ll help you sell. If not, we part as friends. What do you say?” Chen Yun was starting to realize he had a knack for business.

The middle-aged man thought for a moment. “Fine. Sixty-forty it is.”

“All right, I’ll give it a try. Once we’re done here, let’s hit another entrance and keep at it.” Chen Yun led the way, the man following with a large box full of massagers.

At the supermarket’s west entrance, Chen Yun pulled out a massager and waved it. “Attention, dear friends! Presenting the latest weapon developed by the Golden Dragon Army of the Celestial Empire—our nation’s defense depends on it! Look here, the massager!”

“It cures back pain, leg pain, neck pain—multi-functional, banishing all ailments! The hospital price is 368, but today, just 198! You don’t have to buy—just come and see, try it for free. Limited quantity! An apple, a pear—when you’re done, only the peels are left.”

“Why not buy a massager? It’ll last you three or five years, take it wherever you go, use it wherever you like. Buy my massager and you’ll feel invigorated! Don’t buy, and your wife will be angry. For daily vitality, you must have my massager! If you don’t buy it, you’ll be doomed to a lifetime of your wife’s wrath!”

“Damn, these lines are amazing! Boss, I’ll take one!”

“No choice but to buy—if I don’t, I’ll end up impotent!”

“Haha, these lines are addictive—give me one!”

“For my vitality, I’ll take one!”

Fifty massagers, all gone in five minutes.

At this point, Chen Yun became the savior of every vendor at the supermarket entrance. They lined up, waiting their turn to work with him. In an hour, he did nothing else but make his way around all four entrances, leaving behind a legend for the ages.

“I have a great recommendation for you—a gift your mother-in-law will love, your wife will adore, and your sister-in-law will never forget... As long as the cucumber is long enough, it’ll reach the Pacific Ocean...” So went Chen Yun’s pitch for a cucumber peeler.

“The factory’s bankrupt, the boss is in jail, about to be executed, and our hearts are shattered. If you don’t dare spend ten copper coins, you’ll never be master of your own house. What’s ten copper coins? Can’t buy a house, can’t buy land. Is our spinning top any good? You’ll know when you try it. Buy one and see—your kid will ace his exams and become a doctorate in the future.” That was Chen Yun selling spinning tops.

“Five-digit by five-digit multiplication—bet you can’t do it. With this arithmetic book, your math teacher will be out of a job and crying.” That was Chen Yun selling math books.

“Quick-dry towels, the fighter jets of towels—better than a hairdryer! Wash, wipe, and it’s instantly dry. Only thirty coins! Thirty coins won’t get you a wife or a house; if you have money and don’t spend it, you’re failing society. If an ordinary towel is a gun, then the quick-dry towel is the Celestial 99. And today, the Celestial 99 is only ten copper coins!” That was Chen Yun selling quick-dry towels.

All of these were fairly standard, but the last one floored Chen Yun—a vendor actually asked him to help sell rat poison!

“Brother, seventy-thirty! You help me sell, you get seventy, I get thirty!”

That was bold, but Chen Yun loved it—a no-capital business was always worth doing.

“Rat poison, rat poison! Once a rat eats it, it’s done for! The more you buy, the less trouble you’ll have, so rats won’t nest in your home! The faster you buy, the faster you’ll be free, so rats won’t have time for romance!”

“Rat poison, rat poison! One whiff and the rat trembles; one look and its legs go weak; one touch and it can’t escape!”

“Rat poison, rat poison! One taste and the rat loses its soul. Buy now—one packet, and both tomcats and tabbies will be out of work!”

By the end of this pitch, not only was the rat poison vendor coughing up blood, but the whole crowd was stunned. Incredible—how did he come up with these lines? The man was a legend!

He didn’t stop for an hour, drank four bottles of water courtesy of the vendors, and his hands were sore from collecting money.

“You’re amazing, truly amazing! In one hour you made tens of thousands—this no-capital business, I’m in awe.” The belt vendor, who’d been there from the beginning, looked enviously at the silver coins in Chen Yun’s hands—he’d exchanged all the copper coins with the vendors at a hundred to one rate.

“No big deal,” Chen Yun boasted. “Honestly, if there were planes or missiles to sell here, I’d still sell them all for you...”

“Player Chen Yun has triggered a random quest: Sell one plane and one missile within 24 hours. Accept? Yes/No?”

Damn!