Chapter Eighty-Eight: Dislike

A bitter wind swept across the earth. It was already a winter night, and the cold was severe.

Yet Liu Shouyi, who had long since lost all sense of heat and cold, felt only icy hands and feet.

“Heaven is without feeling...”

His gaze unfocused as he murmured, “If there truly are gods in this world, looking down upon all living things from on high, how could they do something so utterly contrary to the laws by which all things grow?”

On the great path toward immortality, even a supreme cultivator like Liu Shouyi, already far removed from the mortal world, was as insignificant as a firefly before the bright moon.

Shen Yu said, “None of you truly understand this empty thing you call the Heavenly Way, so how would you know whether it is male or female, good or evil? Even I do not know.”

As the gale swept past, Shen Yu lifted his head to the sky. Once, when he had risen above the immortal realm and believed himself unrivaled beneath heaven, he had soared countless miles upward, yet had encountered no living being at all.

Shen Yu said, “Still, if the Divine Hall truly bears the will of Heaven, that is rather interesting. If I get the chance someday, I will go and see it for myself.”

The slovenly old Daoist was deeply unsettled and failed to notice the tone in Shen Yu’s voice, as though he stood above all living things.

He suddenly closed his eyes.

Only after a long while did he exhale a turbid breath.

Those who lived between heaven and earth, especially cultivators attuned to the workings of the world, had to be exceedingly cautious when facing the sort of question Shen Yu had raised. One careless thought could shake the foundation of their path, twist their Dao-heart, and drive them into deviation.

He looked at the young fellow before him and found it almost unbelievable.

It was not only that the other had already stepped onto this great path, nor merely that he could speak such words with effortless calm, but even more so the formless aura around Shen Yu.

On this night there were several mighty great cultivators present, yet Shen Yu could speak with them in perfect composure, yielding nothing in bearing.

That aura even made people unconsciously overlook one fact.

Just moments ago, he had slain Zhong Shenluo with a single sword strike.

That had been a great cultivator of the Daoist Tribulation Crossing realm.

Shen Yu suddenly said, “Since you’re awake, stop pretending to sleep.”

Liu Shouyi smiled.

The little girl beside them, who had been feigning sleep, abruptly opened her eyes and blinked innocently.

She had awakened long ago, but felt nothing at all about what the two of them had been saying.

Liu Shouyi, who had always loved wandering the mortal world, said with a smiling face, “Lu Caiwei, would you be willing to take me as your master and follow me to Kunlun to cultivate?”

Shen Yu said nothing.

Lu Caiwei hesitated for a while, then replied glumly, “All right.”

The old Daoist, whose status and lineage ranked among the top three in Kunlun Mountain, looked oddly embarrassed.

All his life he had been proud and aloof, roaming the world at will, never once taking a disciple. Who would have thought that the disciple he had finally taken a liking to would be... so reluctant?

The old Daoist suddenly cast a sidelong glance at Shen Yu, slapped his forehead, and revealed a look of sudden enlightenment.

Stroking his beard with his right hand, Liu Shouyi gave a dry laugh. “On the mountain there are trees, and on the trees are branches; my heart delights in you, yet you do not know it. Ah...”

...

In the following days, no one knew what method Jiang Zhouyao had used, but the disciples of the Returning Cloud Immortal Sect all seemed to have accepted the truth of what had happened and began the work of rebuilding.

That Zhong Shenluo had colluded with the Land of a Thousand Rivers was already an indisputable fact, and no one dared say much on such a matter.

The true strength of the Returning Cloud Immortal Sect was far greater than anyone had imagined, and the position of sect master was of the utmost importance.

Yet several reclusive elders of the sect, men who had long withdrawn from worldly affairs, remained silent regarding Jiang Zhouyao’s control of the sect. Some even stepped forward on their own to stabilize the situation. It was all very strange.

Shen Yu disliked noise, so he stayed the whole time in Jiang Zhouyao’s secluded little tower.

Liu Shouyi would return to Kunlun the next day, and Lu Caiwei, for reasons unknown, had fallen silent all day long, so the tower was especially quiet.

Shen Yu stood before a row of bookshelves, leafing through one treasured ancient volume after another.

A cough sounded.

Shen Yu looked up.

The middle-aged scholar who had displayed vast divine power in the Returning Cloud Immortal Sect not long before seemed to have aged decades overnight. His temples had turned white, though his face remained as gentle as ever.

Shen Yu said, “What happened to her?”

Jiang Zhouyao gave a bitter smile. “After learning the whole truth, she’s angry with me.”

Shen Yu looked at him and asked, “Was it worth it?”

Only a very few present had known that forcibly manifesting holiness in the mortal world and summoning the dharma image of a Confucian sage had cost Jiang Zhouyao dearly. Not only had his cultivation been utterly destroyed, even the life force within him had nearly run dry.

For a cultivator, such an act meant the severing of the great path itself. His days were numbered.

“I did not have many years left to begin with. There is no question of whether it was worth it or not.”

Jiang Zhouyao shook his head, then suddenly bowed and said earnestly, “Now that my cultivation is gone, I can only repay the debt in another way. That girl Yunqing is wholly devoted to the Dao, but her temper is fierce. If one day she encounters some grave difficulty, I ask that you lend her a hand.”

Shen Yu’s expression did not change. He naturally understood that the other treated him with such respect because of the Daoist Sect, and because of the old ties of affection with his eldest senior brother, Su Mo.

After a moment of silence, Shen Yu asked, “I am curious. If the one you loved was Yunqing’s former life, but after reincarnation she is no longer that same person, then what, exactly, is the feeling between you and that little girl now?”

Jiang Zhouyao raised an eyebrow slightly, seeming not to have expected that Shen Yu had already guessed this matter. After a long pause, he answered坦然, “What I feel toward Yunqing is only guilt. What she feels toward me is only respect. I know the difference very clearly.”

“Was it worth it?”

This was the second time Shen Yu had asked, but his gaze drifted into the distance, somewhat dazed, as if recalling something once more.

Jiang Zhouyao covered his mouth and coughed violently. Only after catching his breath with difficulty did he say, “Of all things in this world, matters of the heart are the most complicated. There has never been any true measure of worth or unworthiness.”

The scholar smiled gently. “If you feel you owe her, then whatever you do to make amends would not be too much.”

“And if she does not like it?”

“I like her. What does that have to do with her?”

“Not caring for life or death?”

“Not caring for life or death.”

Shen Yu withdrew his gaze and smiled. “So that is how it is.”

Shen Yu was not a curious man, and yet he had still asked all this.

Because although Jiang Zhouyao, deprived of cultivation, could no longer sense what moved around him, Shen Yu could.

And so, outside the tower at this moment—

The woman in green, who had finally come to understand the truth, stood there motionless, eyes red, both hands clapped tightly over her mouth. Then she slowly crouched to the ground and began to sob softly.

The middle-aged scholar turned sharply, then looked at Shen Yu with a helpless bitter smile.

“I hate trouble, so I dislike all those twists and evasions. Better to say things plainly.”

With that, Shen Yu walked out of the tower.

...

Shen Yu walked through the Returning Cloud Immortal Sect.

The looks cast toward him by countless disciples were exceedingly strange.

They now knew that the man named in the sect’s kill order had been him. They knew he had killed the elder of transmitted teachings, Ximen Guan. They even knew that in the end, Sect Master Zhong Shenluo himself had died beneath Shen Yu’s sword.

Some feared him, some hated him, some were shaken in awe. All those emotions mingled into something too complicated to describe.

Shen Yu paid no heed to any of the gazes upon him. He strolled at ease beside a lakeshore until he saw that graceful figure standing beneath the willow by the water.

In terms of figure alone, the woman before him was among the finest in the world. Even Shen Yu could not help but inwardly marvel.

There was no impure thought in it, only a human appreciation for beauty.

Lu Caiwei casually tossed a stone into the emerald lake, her expression calm.

Shen Yu came to stand beside her.

Lu Caiwei said softly, “What is it?”

Shen Yu looked at the rippling water and said, “Do you remember what you once said to me in Pingyao Town?”

Lu Caiwei froze, then immediately flushed crimson. Stammering, she said, “What... what are you trying to do?”

Shen Yu ignored her and said, “Back then, you told me your Dao was different, so I asked you to prove it to me.”

Lu Caiwei fell silent, not knowing what to say.

Shen Yu said calmly, “I’ll say it for you. Because you believed cultivators should not be so selfish and calculating, forever weighing gain and loss. Because you believed the true great path should not be so narrow. And because you believed this world was not as loathsome as I said—that there are always beautiful things in the world. Is that right?”

“Yes, yes, yes.”

Lu Caiwei’s eyes lit up, because those were precisely the thoughts in her heart, things she had never been able to put into words.

Shen Yu continued, “It was precisely because of those words that I agreed to bring you with me all the way here.”

Lu Caiwei asked, puzzled, “Why?”

“Because you are very naive.”

Shen Yu paused, then said in an even tone, “But the kind of naïveté ordinary people look down on is, to me, the most beautiful thing in the mortal world. Some people are born with it, but after living through certain things, it gradually disappears. You are different.”

What Shen Yu meant was naturally not something superficial. He could see the essential nature deep within a person’s heart. It was something accumulated through countless years of experience, and also a deeply inexplicable ability.

Lu Caiwei blinked and asked, “Really?”

Shen Yu, showing a rare patience today, nodded slightly and went on, “But even that is not enough. A truly strong person is one who can endure endless hardship and still look upon this world with kindness and innocence. If you think the so-called Dao of this world is flawed, then you must first refuse to let the world change you before you are qualified to change the world. The Daoist teaching of guarding one’s original heart means exactly this.”

Lu Caiwei said timidly, “But I don’t want to change other people.”

Shen Yu shook his head. “To accomplish the first is already something remarkable. To accomplish the second is the mark of a true sage.”

Lu Caiwei was silent for a long time before asking, “Why are you helping me?”

A faint smile touched Shen Yu’s lips. He gently rubbed her little head and said softly, “Because a very, very long time ago, I was also foolish and innocent, just like you.”

The mountain wind had fallen still in the evening. Strands of willow trailed downward one by one, and the last glow of sunset lay across the lake, peaceful beyond words.

Lu Caiwei widened her eyes, suddenly remembering something, and quickly asked, “Then what about now?”

Shen Yu was silent for a moment, then shook his head. “Now I stand in another place when I look at this world, so in my eyes there is no distinction between good and evil.”

Lu Caiwei was stunned. “Then why did you kill that man from the Land of a Thousand Rivers?”

“I believe I once told you: though I hold no prejudice of good or evil toward all living things, that does not prevent me from disliking a person.”

“And when I kill, I do not do so in the name of so-called righteousness or wickedness, whether the other party comes from the Land of a Thousand Rivers or from the Academy, whatever kind of person they may be.”

“If you insist on a reason, then it is simply that I did not like him.”

“What I do not like is a demon in my eyes.”

Shen Yu said seriously, “So I killed him.”