Chapter Fifty-One: Before the Chaos, Conveying Feelings Through Music

"Why do I smell such a sharp, sour scent in the air? Could it be that certain people are so envious simply because they can’t find themselves a wife?" Lanwu teased, glancing at the other men who sat alone, without companionship. Yet, she had no true intention of sprinkling salt on wounds already inflicted by love. Her hope was that, eventually, the more they heard such jests, the less they would care. She had considered whether she ought to help them rekindle those unfinished romances, but how could such things be so easily resolved? Her hopes were doomed from the start—it was impossible now. Each of them had found new companions, leaving no room for old flames. Some had even drawn clear boundaries, vowing never again to be tainted by matters of the heart. Love is ever thus—arriving without warning, departing without a sound, leaving one to wonder if all those past experiences were but a dream. Perhaps love never came at all, let alone departed long ago.

"Elder sister, you should stop teasing them about their weak spots. Fate is not something that can be forced," Meng Youyuan interjected, her words light yet carrying weight. "If it’s meant to be, it will happen naturally. If not, even if you seize it, it won’t last." Her seemingly casual remark caused two in their midst to grow pensive. Yin Boxuan understood well that beneath her unremarkable words lay a gentle admonition meant for him. She had long since seen through his emotions, yet chose never to expose them, instead keeping him company in this charade of foolishness and pretense. But Yushang heard something different—was she hinting that, even if she truly were that woman from his past, there was no longer any connection between them? The person at her side was now Lan Bingxian, and she needed no further burden. Yet Yushang could not abandon the conviction that, even if he could find no clear resemblance between the two women, there was an unfathomable bond between them—one that even they themselves might not recognize.

"Enough now, if we keep talking we’ll never know what time it is. You all look weary; best return to your rooms and rest," Yan Xuesu declared, pulling the two young maids with her toward the inner hall. Crossing the threshold, she paused and turned back. "After tomorrow’s competition, who knows when we’ll meet again? Though we are all together now, it’s not the same without you. You must know how dull my days will be without your presence. If ever you find yourself at leisure with nowhere to go, come seek us at Yomingdu. After all, one cannot spend a lifetime confined to a single place—it's good to go out and see the world." With that, she led the two away, disappearing from view.

Though Yan Xuesu had not named the person she spoke of, everyone present understood. Moments before, they had happily declared that they would not be separated, yet all knew in their hearts that one among them would not be staying. Out of fear of sorrow, none voiced this truth. But someone as clever as Yin Boxuan could hardly fail to recognize that it was he she meant. Yet he felt no sadness—only a quiet contentment. Though his acquaintance with them had been brief, they cherished him dearly. Even now, as parting approached, there was no longer the easy nonchalance of the past, but a bittersweet reluctance among friends. He felt no regret at not always being with them; he had memories enough from these days to last him a lifetime.

"Yan’er is absolutely right. You can’t spend your life cooped up in this little academy, cut off from the world. The world is vast—you should go and see more of it," Yu Xiaoran said kindly, showing no jealousy at his beloved’s affectionate words to another. He saw clearly that Yin Boxuan was like them—a man who would not confine himself to a cage. Such souls were meant to soar free beneath the open sky.

"I know all this has fallen upon you because of me. If I hadn’t stubbornly pursued my own desires, the heavy burden of Yanlan Academy would never have landed on your shoulders. You should have had a carefree life, but my selfishness imprisoned you in this lightless cage, robbing you of everything. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I want to say this: life is too short to be wasted. Free yourself, pursue what you want—be bold, as I was, seeking my own sky. If you miss your chance at freedom, you will regret it for the rest of your days," Lan Bingxian said, his gaze filled with remorse, as though convinced he had wronged him, stolen from him all that should have been his.

"I don’t think there’s anything bad about my life now. I get to spend more time with Master, to temper my unruly nature, and, most enviable of all, I have the privilege to lead this academy—a dream many would give anything for! How could such a good thing become, in your words, a misfortune? If one day I achieve something in this world, remember—it will be thanks to you. I’ve never blamed you; on the contrary, I thank you for giving me this chance to prove myself. Truly, senior brother," he replied earnestly. Though he was confined here because of Lan Bingxian, he found solace in knowing that his beloved was happy. He was certain that, had their roles been reversed, had he wandered with Meng Youyuan while Lan Bingxian stayed at the academy, she would not have found joy. In her heart, he was not the one she loved, nor could he give her the happiness she sought. Better, then, to endure some hardship himself and fulfill the wishes of two people who mattered most to him. Such a sacrifice was well worth it.

"No matter what, the gates of Yomingdu will always be open to you. If ever you wish to find us, have no hesitation—we will welcome you at any time!" Leng Huaiyi declared, forgoing further persuasion. He made it clear: should Yin Boxuan ever wish to venture out, he would always have a place to call home in Yomingdu.

"I understand, my good brothers!" Yin Boxuan smiled, deeply grateful for friends who cared so much for his well-being.

"Though we haven’t spent much time together these past days, I can tell you’re a decent sort. If you ever need anything, just come to me—no need to be a stranger. Don’t forget, we swore brotherhood together!" Yushang said, clapping him on the shoulder with hearty camaraderie. Clearly, he thought highly of the young man, else he would not have offered such words. It was evident that Yushang had changed—he no longer ignored the affairs of others as he once did.

"As the rascal said, though your tongue is sharp and you seldom let things go, you have a good heart. Now that even this rascal would risk life and limb for you, I can hardly stand by and do nothing. From now on, if anything troubles you, don’t shoulder the burden alone—let us help you through," Xiao Yin added, generous as ever. Perhaps they were all moved by his steadfastness in love—he was simply someone worth caring for.

"When did you all become so sentimental? I get it, I get it—if anything happens to me, I’ll be sure not to let you enjoy your peace for long. Even if I have to dig you out from the ends of the earth, we’ll weather the storm together. But if something good comes my way, I won’t trouble you—I can handle it myself. Everyone knows you all have treasures beyond counting, so don’t compete with me for them; I’m the poor one here!" Yin Boxuan, moments ago deeply moved, now slipped back into his roguish manner, lightening the somber atmosphere.

"You little scoundrel, your scheming is as sharp as ever!" Xiao Yin conceded defeat, realizing that he had underestimated his wit and cheek.

"I appreciate all your kindness. It’s getting late; I should go prepare, and you all should rest as well." Without another glance, he strode out—afraid that, were he to look back, he might not have the heart to leave. Yet all understood the importance of tomorrow, and none would let personal desires jeopardize the greater cause.

"Well, you three do as you please. I’m tired and need a nap," Yu Xiaoran declared languidly, returning to his quarters.

"You two seem full of energy—I, on the other hand, can barely stand. I must go rest," Xiao Yin said, discerning the need for privacy, and left the two alone.

"Brother Leng..." Yushang began, but was interrupted by a gently flowing melody from a zither. Recognizing the player at once, he said, "It seems someone has come looking for you. I won’t take up any more of your time—go to her." Smiling, he returned to his room, leaving Leng Huaiyi standing alone, lost in thought.

Leng Huaiyi was puzzled. Why, at such a time, was she playing the zither at the doorway? Or perhaps he had misunderstood—the melody might have nothing to do with him at all. Whether out of curiosity or a simple desire to see her, he found himself following the music. There, he saw his so-called master’s aunt, Xun Mishuang, immersed in her playing, oblivious to his arrival. He could not bear to disturb this rare moment of peace and stood quietly by, listening intently. In truth, he used this as an excuse to gaze upon his beloved, from whom he had been parted so long.

This melody was unlike the one she had played for him before—gone was the former melancholy, the bitterness, the sorrow. Instead, it was filled with concern and longing—a silent fear for his safety on the morrow, and a deeper dread that tomorrow might separate them once more, casting them to opposite ends of the earth. Leng Huaiyi knew that during his days in the little bamboo house, Xun Mishuang, though never revealing herself, had always watched over him from the shadows. He pretended not to notice, just to be near her a little longer. Whenever the faint scent of orchids drifted by, he knew it was her. Only she bore that fragrance—different from ordinary orchids—coldly elegant, darkly refined, laced with mysterious allure that beckoned the curious to seek her out. Perhaps her scent truly was an enchantment, impossible to forget once breathed in. Yet he understood that his inability to let her go was not just because of her fragrance, but because of who she was. Beautiful, graceful, gentle, noble—no words could do justice to her charm. Meeting her was the greatest fortune of his life, though, in the end, they could not be together.