Chapter 100: The Tragic Golden Voice

"...When the winner rolls in the sheets, the losers at ACFun jerk off; the more often they jerk off, the sadder they feel..."

"...The toilet paper is gone, and I do not know what to do, because you are always jerking off, living a life of jerking off..."

"...Hey, don't laugh. Listen seriously!"

Seeing Qin Xueyang nearly spray out the noodles from laughing, Zhang Qiyang had no choice but to stop and snap at her.

Qin Xueyang laughed aloud. "Your lyrics are way too ridiculous. I can't take it. You even worked ACFun into it."

There were many brands and websites in this world that were the same as, or very similar to, those in the other world.

WeChat, Weibo, Mercedes-Benz, BMW, and this ACFun, for example.

"This song is not just a joke song. You can tell from the melody that it's a sad one. When you sing it later, you need to bring out a tone of compassion, and only then will the sarcasm land properly. Hurry up and eat. We need to learn this song as fast as possible."

During the few minutes Qin Xueyang slurped down her noodles, Zhang Qiyang sang through "A Lifetime of Jerking Off" twice as a demonstration and wrote out the lyrics for her as well.

Qin Xueyang had never received any professional music training and could not read sheet music, so Zhang Qiyang did not bother writing any notation for her.

That night, Qin Xueyang had swallowed a full stomach of humiliation. She hated those opportunistic trolls even more than Zhang Qiyang did.

After being dragged onto this outlaw's boat by Zhang Qiyang, she cooperated with him with exceptional enthusiasm, learning the song and preparing to go after those trolls together.

On the first run-through, Zhang Qiyang taught Qin Xueyang line by line.

Qin Xueyang had no formal musical training, but she possessed excellent natural pitch and a fine instinct for melody.

After Zhang Qiyang taught her once by ear, she had already memorized the general tune of the entire song.

The melody was simple and easy to remember. After singing it twice, Qin Xueyang could already perform the whole song with Zhang Qiyang's guitar accompaniment.

Only then did Zhang Qiyang notice something very distinctive in Qin Xueyang's voice.

Whether it was because she was heavyset, with thick vocal cords, or for some other reason, there was an inborn resonance to her voice, unpolished and rich in texture.

Zhao Ziqi's singing also had weight to it, but it was obvious that the depth in Zhao Ziqi's voice came far more from later training and refinement than from nature. Zhao Ziqi's strength and stage presence were entirely built through practice.

But this big, fat voice of Qin Xueyang's, when she sang even a little seriously, actually carried a formidable, innate presence. It struck Zhang Qiyang like an electric shock, and he suddenly thought of the super diva Adele from another world.

Both were heavyset women. Both had been hurt. Both carried scars that could not be smoothed away. Qin Xueyang's voice, oddly enough, had something in common with Adele's sorrow, and that made Zhang Qiyang inexplicably excited.

"Again. Put a little more feeling into it. Think about the people listening to this song: they can only jerk off for the rest of their lives. How heartbreaking is that? You need to use your voice to comfort their wounded hearts as they bleed from all that friction."

Qin Xueyang frowned in confusion. "Isn't the point to mock them? Why would I comfort them?"

"The greatest sarcasm in the world is compassion that comes from the heart. You need to stand on the moral high ground and, like someone spreading the gospel, sing their whole life with a voice full of pity."

"I think I get it."

"Good. Now sing it even sadder. Imagine that so many people have to jerk off for their entire lives. How pathetic is that? As a saintly mother, shouldn't you pity them? Come on, let this take be full of your feelings!"

Like a music producer or a director, Zhang Qiyang guided Qin Xueyang into the right emotional state.

When Qin Xueyang sang this time, listening to Zhang Qiyang's guitar accompaniment felt completely different.

From the song, Qin Xueyang sensed an especially lonely, desolate atmosphere, the feeling of a lifetime spent alone.

With deep compassion, she sang a version that left Zhang Qiyang stunned:

"...I think you will keep on jerking off, all your life alone and jerking off; I think you will keep on jerking off, living a whole lifetime that way..."

As he played guitar for her, Zhang Qiyang felt as though Qin Xueyang was drawing the very soul out of him.

Her delivery was neither too hot nor too cold, but the pain in her voice, the pain that came straight from the heart, was almost exactly like Adele's.

Right now, Qin Xueyang was using a compassionate voice to mock those losers condemned to a lifetime of jerking off, but it also seemed as if she were mocking herself for having been lonely for so long.

Her singing was full of pain, yet it also carried a miraculous power to heal.

Perhaps that was part of her nature.

She was born with a fairly optimistic temperament. Even if the sky were to fall, she would bravely try to hold it up with her own fat body instead of being flattened into a meat pancake.

Her life, like the original body's, was dark and painful, but she would not go down the same road as the original and sink irretrievably into sorrow.

Her singing, coming from the heart, was like her life: walking through a dark tunnel, with a warm beam of light always guiding her forward.

Even while singing a prank song like "A Lifetime of Jerking Off," the calm light in her voice still carried Zhang Qiyang into a peaceful and serene mental world.

That confessional, soul-baring singing touched Zhang Qiyang's heart invisibly, plucking at the strings of all the stories he had lived through.

After Qin Xueyang finished that take, only three words remained in Zhang Qiyang's mind: damn, she was amazing.

He could never have imagined that this silly, adorable fat girl on his side actually had the potential to become a top-tier diva like Adele.

This fat girl usually had a rather thin voice when speaking, so why did she become so rich and magnetic the moment she sang?

Even more remarkable, her voice naturally carried sorrow. It was the kind of voice that could make the whole world cry!

Though he was not a professional musician, Zhang Qiyang's ears were anything but dull. Qin Xueyang's voice had a classier, more elevated quality than Zhao Ziqi's, who had stunned the entire country today.

If Heaven had given Zhao Ziqi a golden bowl to eat from with her singing, then Heaven had given Qin Xueyang an entire golden pot.

If this fat girl devoted herself wholeheartedly to the art of singing, then given time, her achievements would absolutely not be lower than Li Xuan's.

She might even become a world-famous super diva.

"So? Was I pitiful enough?" Qin Xueyang still had not realized that she possessed a tragic golden voice capable of taking the world by storm.

Zhang Qiyang gave her a thumbs-up. "You were incredible. You do not need to be my assistant anymore. With a voice like that, you can go straight into the music industry!"

"Go straight into the music industry? Why would I do that? Become some singer who has to show her face in public? I am not doing that job."

Qin Xueyang was surprisingly resistant to the idea of becoming a singer.

Her father had lied to the whole world and caused her immense harm. By now, when she appeared in public, she did not even dare to show her face. She had to wear a black mask.

Being pointed at and whispered about from behind her back as the daughter of a fraud had already left a deep psychological shadow on Qin Xueyang.

At this stage, asking her to step into the spotlight as a singer was almost the same as asking for her life. Of course she resisted.

Only when she managed to cross that inner barrier would she ever have a chance of throwing everything aside and boldly becoming a singer.

Sensing Qin Xueyang's strong resistance, Zhang Qiyang did not force her.

He took Qin Xueyang with him to go after the trolls, uploading the recorded guitar version of "A Lifetime of Jerking Off" along with the photo of the big bra to Weibo.

Then he posted proudly: "When fortune smiles, enjoy it to the fullest; do not let the golden cup stand empty before the moon! If you've got a girl today, then get it on today! Roll in the sheets and enjoy yourselves! To all the losers who have been singing my doom, I wish you a lifetime of jerking off!"