Chapter 43: Instantly Defeating Lord Huan

Zhang Qiyang reached out his hand to ask Dong Huan for the guitar. Judging by his posture, he really was about to launch into a musical retort! Dong Huan was momentarily taken aback, but seeing that Zhang Qiyang was not joking, her spirits instantly lifted. She hurriedly handed the guitar over to Zhang Qiyang, eager to hear what he would sing.

Li Die, too, became interested and fanned the flames: “Cannon, are you about to fire back at Huan with a song of your own?”

Zhang Qiyang plucked the strings, tuning as he spoke. “It’s hardly a diss. She was teasing me, so I’ll tease her back with a song.”

As he spoke, a tuneful melody began to emerge from under his fingers.

Li Die, setting the mood, addressed the audience: “If you want to hear Cannon roast Huan, type 1!”

The comment section instantly exploded! Countless 1s appeared, but there were also many 2s—plenty of people didn’t want to hear Zhang Qiyang sing at all.

Between the 1s and 2s, a flood of comments scrolled across the screen, as if the staff were deliberately provoking Zhang Qiyang—

“Cannon is really going to sing against Huan here in the livestream? Isn’t he afraid of losing face?”

“Singing in the livestream—Huan isn’t targeting anyone specific, but even if a diva came, she’d have to take a back seat! Cannon’s just asking to be humiliated!”

“Cannon, can you please be serious! We’re not here to listen to you sing, we’re here for your rants! Put that junk guitar down!”

“Damn, right off the bat he’s going to pollute our ears—can’t we just watch the stream in peace?”

“Hearing Huan sing and then Cannon, I feel like my ears are going deaf.”

“Trash Cannon, shut up! Stop defiling music! The Xuan’ai clan will make sure you’re buried with no trace!”

“Even with two ‘My Song’ championship trophies to his name, I feel like Cannon is no match for Huan in the livestream.”

“So Cannon’s trying to improvise a song like Huan? Does he have her skills? I seriously doubt it!”

“Smart people, turn down your volume—looks like Cannon’s about to start howling again.”

…

Many viewers doubted Zhang Qiyang’s ability and feared for their ears.

Sitting in a corner of the studio, sipping bubble tea, Qin Xueyang found herself growing anxious. She had no idea what Zhang Qiyang was planning—if he was even planning anything at all. She hadn’t seen him prepare for the stream, nor had she seen him write any new songs.

Was he really going to challenge Dong Huan in the art of improvisation, her specialty? Was he seriously going to compose a song on the spot to spar with her?

If this went badly, he would be utterly humiliated!

Though Zebra Live couldn’t compare to the reach and influence of “My Song,” it still drew millions of viewers, with plenty of people recording the broadcast. If Zhang Qiyang embarrassed himself, he’d be the butt of jokes all over the internet in no time!

This was the crucial stage of “My Song”—why risk his reputation now?

The more Qin Xueyang thought about it, the less she understood Zhang Qiyang.

Those unconcerned with his image—like the Zebra staff, who were all too eager for drama—waited excitedly to watch Zhang Qiyang falter. They all knew that, in the world of livestream improvisation, Dong Huan was unmatched. While her melodies were simple and sometimes repetitive, she had a knack for crafting witty, rhymed lyrics on the fly, winning the affection and respect of countless viewers.

Now Zhang Qiyang was about to challenge Dong Huan in her strongest domain. The prospect was tantalizing. Many in the audience even turned up their volume, waiting to hear Zhang Qiyang sing.

Without another word, Zhang Qiyang began. The Zebra crowd all knew Dong Huan was known as the “Old Doctor” of the streaming world, a master at exposing braggarts. So Zhang Qiyang decided to perform “Old Doctor” by Huazhou for Dong Huan, to see who could out-tease the other.

To everyone’s surprise, Zhang Qiyang began to sing in an offhand, playful, almost mischievous tone:

“…Sis is the Old Doctor, specializes in curing bragging, headaches, fevers, low blood pressure, none of my concern…”

The very first line left many listeners stunned!

None of them had ever heard Zhang Qiyang sing like this, nor imagined he could. He sounded exactly like a male version of Huan—quirky, amusing, yet strangely pleasant, and the lyrics were delightfully witty! Who would have thought Cannon had such a hidden talent?

He continued:

“…If you want to brag, better just do it yourself—cheaper, more fun, and no pressure at all…”

“…Eat a little, drink a little, it’s all fine, but those who brag have no real talent…”

“…If someone’s bragging, just call the Old Doctor—one slap with the Five Poison Palm, and their head will start spouting nonsense…”

The further he went, the more the audience was floored by his sudden shift in style and his adorably goofy voice.

Dong Huan couldn’t help but laugh at being “roasted” like this. Secretly, she admitted that Zhang Qiyang’s quick wit matched her own.

His teasing was razor sharp! Even sharper than her own “Old Doctor”! And the tune he used was every bit as charming. If she hadn’t known better, she’d never have believed he’d made this up on the spot—it was completely unlike his usual style!

She thought back to his performance of “New Poop” on “My Song” last week—what a different beast that had been. Comparing that to this, it wasn’t just a change in style—it was a total transformation.

A sly suspicion crept into Dong Huan’s mind: could it be that Zhang Qiyang’s team had prepared this song for him in advance, just for the stream? Surely this was a pre-written piece—how else could he have something like this ready to go?

But there was no time to dwell on it; she kept listening, and to her shock, Zhang Qiyang’s lyrics grew even bolder:

“…Sis is the Old Doctor, drives a tractor everywhere, traveling the country, specializing in curing braggarts…”

“…Holding a giant cellphone, beeper on my belt, baggy shorts on, a Yuxi cigarette dangling from my lips…”

“…Sis is the Old Doctor, always grinning, if I hear someone bragging, it’s time for a good kick…”

“…Sis is the Old Doctor, even takes cabs when I go out, sometimes finds two young guys for a wild threesome…”

Though she was always quick to poke fun at herself and never shied away from a joke, even Dong Huan felt like kneeling before Zhang Qiyang after that. Especially when he sang about “finding two young guys for a threesome”—it was a knockout blow! Her image was in ruins.

From now on, she’d never dare call herself the Old Doctor again—otherwise, everyone would remember the persona Zhang Qiyang had just crafted for her: giant cellphone in hand, beeper on her waist, baggy shorts, Yuxi cigarette, and sometimes picking up two young guys for a threesome…

[So Huan really likes threesomes, huh? Haha. —Burn Blossoms in Mourning]

[Cannon, you genius! Huan’s been obliterated! —Old Pig No. 3]

[Don’t cry, Huan, I’ll always love you! —OnlyLoveHuan]

With the momentum of an aircraft carrier fleet, the livestream was flooded with virtual gifts! The comments section exploded with a barrage of 6666666666…

No one had expected that, in Huan’s own domain of improvised streaming ditties, Zhang Qiyang would outdo even her!