He Wants to Burrow Deeper into Her Heart (All the More for a Diamond)

Chapter 11: Sha Seng’s Helplessness Toward Zhu Bajie

Xili, Shen Ma, Xia Qi, and Xiaoyun were conducting market research on Welcoming Street in Longjiang City for their future get-rich-quick schemes. Xili, deep in thought, was suddenly interrupted by a weathered, low voice.

“Uh… the earth is round? It’s Earth! Sister Feng! Sister Furong! Aren’t those the internet celebrities from Earth decades ago?” The old man was speaking in terms from Earth. Could it be that he, like Xili, was a fellow traveler who had accidentally ended up here? Thinking this, Xili hurried toward the sound. As he drew closer, he saw an old man with a full beard and messy hair, lounging lazily under a high wall, soaking up the sun.

The disheveled old man saw Xili approaching through the slits of his sun-drenched eyes. A flash of brilliance crossed his gaze, and he droned in a listless voice: “The sky is blue, the earth is round; in the vast unknown, fate has brought us together. Sister Feng weeps, Sister Furong clamors, I only hope the fated one arrives soon. Peerless secret techniques are only for the fated!”

“Old man, why is the earth round? Do you know Sister Feng and Sister Furong?” Xili walked up to him, leaned down, and whispered, “Are you Brother Zhu?”

The disheveled old man didn’t even open his eyes. He snorted, “Where did this reckless boy come from? Why so many boring questions?”

“Ugh… old man, what are you saying? Get up and answer us!” Shen Ma, following behind Xili, said impatiently.

Xili glared at Shen Ma, then turned back, patiently saying, “Old man, these questions are very important to me. Could you please tell me?”

“Gifts are for the fated!” The old man suddenly shoved a yellowed, thread-bound book into Xili’s arms. With a sudden burst of energy, he stood up unsteadily, turned around, and muttered, “Alas, I must depart!”

With a single movement, the old man left behind only a lingering afterimage and vanished. Xili and his companions looked around, but the old man was nowhere to be seen.

“Ah… damn, he’s a master!” Shen Ma’s jaw dropped in shock, his face filled with disbelief.

“My master is Zhu Bajie? Isn’t that the ridiculously popular character from that Earth book that makes the best novels feel inferior… damn it all…” Xili, who had been squatting, was completely floored by the old man’s performance and collapsed onto the ground.

Xia Qi and Xiaoyun had often heard stories of such mysterious, elusive figures from Old Wang, but hearing and seeing were two different things. Xiaoyun, the first to recover, pulled on Xili, who was still sitting on the ground, stuttering: “B-b-big brother, hurry… hurry and look… what did that old immortal give you?”

“That’s right, let’s see!” Xia Qi urged.

Xili, swayed by Xiaoyun, eventually regained his composure. He held the yellowed book in his hands as Shen Ma, Xia Qi, and Xiaoyun crowded around.

“Uh, why is there no title on the yellowed cover? It’s not like in the movies!” Xili muttered, looking at the blank cover. He flipped to the first page. Upon seeing the content, he let out a howl and jumped up, cursing: “Damn it, you pig-headed fool, are you playing with me? Is this for real? You can’t just mess with people like this!”

“Ah! My god!” Xili’s sudden outburst startled the others.

“Boss, what does it say? I’ve never seen these characters before,” Xia Qi asked, pointing at the page in Xili’s hand.

“Damn, if you could read these, it would be a ghost story,” Xili retorted.

Xili was profoundly depressed. The characters on the first page were Chinese characters from Earth, and even more infuriatingly, they read: “Don’t die, just practice when you’re free!”

Completely tangled in confusion, Xili shakily flipped to the second page, which read, “Chasing Stars and Catching the Moon.” Without looking at the details, he flipped to the fourth and final page. It was all content related to “Chasing Stars and Catching the Moon.” Too annoyed to study it, he cursed, “Damn it, what is this nonsense? What is even going on?” Xili felt miserable and conflicted. He spent a great deal of effort to calm his shock and anger. Seeing the confused faces of his companions, he snapped, “What are you looking at? Let’s keep walking.”

Although they were full of questions, seeing Xili’s twisted, flushed expression, no one dared to speak.

Meanwhile, the disheveled old man was standing high above the Julong Continent. With a shift, he transformed into the honest-looking Sha Seng with a red beard and a dark-blue face. He stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Zhu Bajie, both watching the scene below.

“Heh, heh, heh. The lines you taught me really worked, Second Senior Brother. You are indeed smarter than me,” Sha Seng scratched his messy hair and said to Zhu Bajie.

“Hahaha, look at who I am! With this life-saving skill, that kid shouldn’t die so easily!” Zhu Bajie said confidently.

“Second Senior Brother, why do I feel like this kid has the same personality as you? Why did you…” Before Sha Seng could finish, Zhu Bajie interrupted him.

“I had no choice, did I?” Zhu Bajie said, cutting off Sha Seng’s endless nagging.

“Who else is to blame? You were the one who went to spy on Fairy Chang’e bathing and made me keep watch. We got caught by Erlang Shen, exiled to the lower realms to guard the galaxy, and our shape-shifting powers were sealed. Sigh, why did we do this to ourselves?” Sha Seng shook his head helplessly.

“The Jade Emperor sealed our powers because he was afraid we’d turn into handsome men and sneak off to enjoy ourselves. Luckily, I was smart and begged the Great Senior Brother to teach us a one-time transformation technique. I’ll be able to live it up for another hundred years, heh heh…” Zhu Bajie’s eyes gleamed with lechery.

“Isn’t that fine? But you just had to go and drag this kid into my Zongheng Galaxy. Sigh…” Sha Seng sighed.

“Do you think I wanted to? The transformation mantra the monkey gave me happens to be the catchphrase of this idiot kid from the galaxy I’m guarding. I’m cursed! On my first day, I was forced to transform eighteen times because of him.” Zhu Bajie grew suspicious. “Could it be that the monkey arranged all of this on purpose? Otherwise, how could it be such a coincidence?”

Is everything fated, or was this truly just a coincidence?

“Oh, that really is a coincidence,” Sha Seng said, glancing back at the Julong Continent.

“If I were to turn into a handsome guy to pick up girls, and this guy’s catchphrase kept making me transform back and forth, I’d scare them away! How could I survive? So, I had a flash of genius and dumped him into your galaxy. Anyway, no celestial demons have bothered the mortal realm in tens of thousands of years, and I’m bored, so I might as well turn into him and enjoy the mortal world. This kid’s underworld connections mean he has plenty of beautiful women around!” Zhu Bajie sucked on his finger, looking dreamy.

“Sigh, it’s been so many years, and you’re still the same. You’re disrupting the order of the lower realms. Aren’t you afraid of the King of Hell reporting you to the Heavenly Court?” Sha Seng warned.

“That’s why I came to talk to you. He can’t have any accidents on your side. As long as he has this self-defense skill and doesn’t get himself killed, it’ll be fine. When we finish our term and return to the heavens, we’ll just take him back.” Zhu Bajie felt his plan was perfect. “Sha Junior Brother, am I not clever?”

“Ugh…” Sha Seng was speechless. He realized he had been dragged onto his Second Senior Brother’s sinking ship once again.

It turned out that everything Zhu Bajie had told Xili was a lie; the real reason they were in the lower realms was their exile for spying on Chang’e. If Xili heard this, he would surely go ballistic.

Back on Welcoming Street, Xili and his group had returned to their cheerful mood. Xia Qi and Xiaoyun were bouncing around, their childlike wonder still intact.

“Boss, I want this! Give me the money!” Xia Qi pointed at a small trinket at a stall.

As Xili looked at what she was pointing at, his eyes lit up. He quickly asked, “Do you girls really like this kind of thing?”

“What kind of question is that? Such a beautiful thing, what girl wouldn’t like it?” Xia Qi urged, “Hurry up with the money, quickly!”

“Oh, this young lady has a sharp eye! This is a new arrival from the Xiangwei House. Smell the fragrance; it lasts forever!” the middle-aged vendor said, eager to make a sale.

“Second Brother, what is this thing called?” Xili asked, suppressing his excitement.

Shen Ma looked at Xili as if he were a monster and said, “Boss, no wonder the Third Sister talks about you. How can you not know what this is?”

“Enough with the nonsense, just tell me!” Xili shouted, his voice cracking.